So, it is officially the eve of change….tomorrow night a bunch of people will decide who my new boss will be. I’ve come to terms with this, having had plenty of time to get used to the idea and I feel like I’m fairly well equipped to cope with whatever happens. This is partly due to my recent sessions of self-discovery with Mrs Woo, and also the fact that I now have quite a number of Vintage Cellar shares*.
Despite the fact that this is obviously evidence of some kind of personal growth, I still have that feeling of not quite being able to go to sleep tonight – the absolute knowledge of imminent change that I have no control over whatsoever seems to be giving me insomnia**.
I should probably put it out there that I despite the fact that I’ve only been in this job for just over 12 months, I do have an acute awareness of what the departure of my boss means to so many staff that know and love him and have worked closely with him over the last 35 years.
But.
Even though I’m obviously in the midst of some epic personal growth here, I feel like I need to put it out there that this new boss will affect me more than anyone else. It will totally change my daily working life in every single way. That’s like more than 8 hours a day – I don’t even sleep for 8 hours a day, and that is one of my favourite things to do. Not to mention the dilemma that I will be faced with if we simply just don’t get along, or have completely different working styles.
There is a part of me that is thinking to myself ‘bring it’ – it’s time for me to get out of my comfort zone and put myself out there. I’ve been working at 50% of my alleged potential for so long now that it’s starting to feel normal, and I’m not really wanting to lose my awesome skills. Admittedly, it was totally my decision to stay in this job for as long as I have – but, it was a choice that was based on how much I enjoyed working with my boss*** not to mention all the other lovely people who I work with.
The flipside is that I’m a bit**** scared. This whole scenario has the potential to be a fairly significant turning point for me, and I’m terrified that I’m going to make the wrong decision and end up in a situation that makes me desperately unhappy*****, or living in my car because I can’t pay the rent.
Truly – the potential for train wreck is huge. Which reminds me of one of my most favourite Sarah Mclachlan songs ever. Not sure how relevant it is to this post, but I love love love it, and am feeling generous and inclined to share…..enjoy….
*For the benefit of my international readers, this basically means that I spend a fair amount of my hard-earned cash at Vintage Cellars, only the best wine shop ever.
**Not actual, real insomnia. Just a perceived lack of ability to nod off. This could also be caused by my inability to stop playing Settlers of Catan. Dammit, I just cannot win that game and I will keep on playing until I do.
***Honestly, he’s an exceptional person.
****a LOT.
*****I do try not to do that to myself if I can help it.
....aroundthecorner... 